Friday, 19 September 2008

Oh Lord Won't You Buy Me a Miele Vacuum My Friends All Have Dysons etc...

I have a friend who writes for God Is In The TV he gets CDs to review and gig tickets so that he can give his considered opinion on them. I know I'm of a certain age but I do rather like to think of myself as still cutting edge so was sort of flattered to be invited to be a reviewer too. However, I was not invited to review the work of the latest indie band nor a performance poet; I was invited to write about a vacuum cleaner.

I suppose I set myself up for this really when I railed against our Dyson and its refusal to die a dignified death. The arrival of a Miele S5211 to test and write about has done little to cure us of our Dyson; in fact it has made it worse. The Miele is very pretty, sleek even - you might consider leaving it out in the lounge for people to see, rather than hide it away like an ugly child - which is what you do with the dreadful grey and yellow monstrosity.

But, in the interests of fairness I had better try to be acerbic and witty like a proper reviewer - but do you know what? I can't; the Miele 5211 is lovely, it emits a gentle hiss rather than an angry roar as it goes about it's
business. And the metaphor of cars isn't lost either - it is definitely a Mercedes: quiet, refined, understated and efficient - it oozes German efficiency.

We've had it for just over a week now and have asked it to perform on the tiled floor in our kitchen, on three different types of carpet and in the car (did I ever tell you about the time when I performed on three... never mind). And it has done exactly what
we have asked it too. The perfectly pivoted head goes around every obstacle we offer it and the easy to use single control offers suction options that are suitable for just about everything.

So what are the down sides?

I suppose if you are to be picky it is a bagged cleaner rather than unbagged but Matt at Miele tells me tha
t the seals on bagless cleaners are not that good so if hepa filtration (oh, now I'm getting geeky - just think allergies) is important to you a bagged cleaner is better. And yes I did try to whip the bag out and put it back again; and yes it was easier (although inevitably more expensive) than doing all the clip things on the Dyson before bashing it on the inside of the wheelie bin to get the muck out before disappearing in a cloud of unpleasant dust.

The only other small point, if the development folk are reading, is from Mrs C who has bad wrists. The bit you hold on to could do with a kinder ergonomically designed grippy thing to make it easier manipulate. Still Mrs C would rather have this one because she says I've never done so much vaccing since we got it!

Give me the gentle hum and soothing hiss of the Miele over the Pepperami roar of the Dyson any day. If I get to keep it a bit longer I'll let you know how it continues to perform - this could turn into a cleaning product themed blog, that would be fun!


Bill Blunt said...

German efficiency vs English ingenuity. Hmmm - that's a tricky one, Crofty.

However, if I was a totally neutral observer in 1942 (maybe Swiss?), and had been asked or given a free Stuka to test drive - rather than my usual Spitfire - then perhaps I would have been as easily seduced as you.

I'm only jealous! I like the cut of your jib on this one, though. Long may you vacuum.



Lisa said...

If you want to try it on some serious pet hairs and gargen filth let me know!

Crofty said...

You should know we have no shortage of pet hairs and gargen filth at our house!

misterwoppit said...

My granny used to have a carpet sweeper - no motor involved - that she furiously hustled down the hallway at 7 in the morning. Vzzzzz vzzzz vzzzzz it went! It took all the dust and hair from the carpet and transferred it directly into the air, whereupon it settled not only back to the carpet but also onto the furniture. This is the reason why very old ladies dust continuously, and always smell of carpets.

misterwoppit said...

Incidentally, the Gargens are a horribly messy race from the planet Garg. They are banned from most shopping centres. Should you have been visited by a Gargen, Cillit Bang usually does the trick.

lisa said...

Oh good grief, one typo and look what happens!!

Anonymous said...

The Dog and Cat Miele is fantastic!! I have three cats and my Miele has = helped to eliminate pet oder with their unique filter system.

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