Wednesday 14 January 2009

The Home For Retired Porn Stars


I couldn't help but repeat 'Should Be in Bed, he's Rambling's' comment on my last post. It made me laugh out loud. You may recall that I was drawing a parallel between the attempts of the porn industry to make themselves seem more innocuous and the world of greyhound racing with its by-product of unwanted greyhounds needing re-homing.

'Should Be' wrote the following:

'I kinda like the idea of rehoming aged pornstsrs though, purely as some sort of moral duty for the entertainment they have given before the teeth sagged and the implants fell out. It can be such a clinical decision when selecting a rescue dog: not that one - too big: Nope - he'd eat the cat: she doesn't match the curtains.... How would one decide which retiree of the pornographic industry met the unique domestic requirements of each household?
Well she's still housetrained but we can't have Miss Leopardskin 1973, we'd never find her on the sofa...
'

I laughed almost as much as when I discovered that some aged (male) porn stars actually find work as 'stunt-cocks' to carry out the ejaculatory act when the worn out real stars can't manage it.

But as for what really happens to retired porn stars, I wonder whether they wouldn't find a welcome home at the Gimcrack Hospital under the gentle ministrations of Nurse Myra. Or perhaps there are already homes for them, perhaps there is one near you subtly disguised as a common or garden retirement home...only it's not bingo they play in the afternoons.

What would it be called though? St Jude is the patron saint of lost causes, or what about good old St Nicholas, the patron saint of sex workers?

In any case you can click here if you can rehome one....err, sorry a greyhound I mean.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm not so gentle when I'm carrying my whip

Anonymous said...

Bring me sunshine, in your smile

bring me laughter all the while

glad I could raise one after the pornstar greyhuund thread


(a chuckle that is)

I'll leave the polemic on greys to my DW but for your local fans who may wish to look at taking one or two of these beautiful dogs, we have some dedicated places round and about that they could visit theres TIA in halifax (http://www.tiagreyhounds.org.uk/product_list_dogs.asp?Set=Dogs&C1=Greyhound)

as well as the Retired Greyhound Trust, that operates off the back of the Belle Vue track and can be accessed at http://manchester.retiredgreyhounds.org/

for starters but many more around the

Anonymous said...

oops clicked publish too soon, I'm very impressed with the pic on this particular blog.

I always wondered what Santa got up to when he wasn't busy dodging stray bits of reindeer poo over the skies of childhood.

Anonymous said...

polemic, audio enhancer for pole dancers?

As for nursing home names. . .
Thong Memories, Blue Pastures, XXX homes??

;-)

Yorkshire Pudding said...

I had to porn my guitar once and my old mother had to porn some jewelry. Why should the owners of porn shops be given special treatment when they get older? And why are there THREE balls hanging outside their shops?

Crofty said...

I should think with three balls they could actually join a circus!

Anonymous said...

nursemyra said...

I'm not so gentle when I'm carrying my whip

I'll vouch for that.

Retro Jordan Shoes said...

I have been reading the posts avidly so just wanted to express my thanks for providing me with some very good reading material. I look forward to more, and taking a more active part in the discussions here.