Collecting the latest results of Amazon's dreaded one-click ordering at weekend, a wave of sadness enveloped me as I realised that the mail collection office was actually Oldham's room of lost loves.
The young man passed my parcel through the hatch, and as I reached in I spied rows of pigeon holes stuffed with envelopes, many of them patterned with hearts and coloured deep red.
"What are all those?" I asked,
"Oh, they're all the cards that nobody has come to collect 'cos they had the wrong postage on them." he replied.
"Isn't that sad" I ventured,
"Dunno, you wouldn't catch me coming to collect a card that needed paying for."
So all those embryonic loves, those heartfelt yearnings remain lying there in the dark, for the want of a few pennies. And what of the emotion that was poured into those envelopes? The hope that accompanied the lustful longings? Somewhere someone is crying into their pillow wondering why they have been spurned, ignorant that their fate lay in one simple mistake of misjudging the size (of the envelope - before you get any smutty ideas).
I considered whether I'd risk a gamble of a few pence and a possible wasted journey to see what mysteries the left mail office had for me. I decided I definitely would. Yes, the young man was rather hard-hearted, if you ask me.
Then I realised where I'd heard his accent before, yes, that was it. He was from Barnsley or near by, where they must have a very large Room of Lost Love.
6 comments:
gulp, sob, I've never seen it in those terms before, only through my own mercenary eyes.
That is sad!
Now, I have a suggestion: next time you're in, ask the dude to randomly pick a few from the rows, pay the extra postage on them, and put them back in the mail so they can be delivered.
:-)
Disclaimer: this may not work if Royal Mail has suffered bureaucracy overload and can't cope with a random act of kindness by a stranger. It wouldn't surprise me.
Wow UC, that is a great idea... I could be a new sort of superhero, the dark brooding stranger who, no matter how hard you try, you can't remember, other than that he was the man who saved Love.
A name, I need a name.... all the ones I keep thinking of sound vaguely indecent.
Dr Strange Love? Oh that one's been done, erm no sorry all the ones I'm thinking are followed by the phrase "it's what he would have wanted" ;D
My Dad's new camera is currently somewhere between the sorting office and god knows where. They tried to deliver it on Saturday but because he doesn't get up at the crack of dawn they shoved a note through his door. It's not been seen since.
How about RAK (Random Acts of Kindness) Man?
You can waste 10 minutes and design your outfit here...http://delphine-angua.blogspot.com/2009/01/here-is-super-lastvisibledog-woman.html
Step forward, Captain Crofty!
I'll bet some of those cards are pretty hideous, though. They'll most likely be those huge ones that you see on the top shelf at Card Warehouse or some suchlike.
Maybe the manufacturers of these grossly-overpriced pieces of card should be obliged to include free, first-class postage on their envelopes? Until that say, more power to you, Captain.
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